Just a Small Complaint
by smoking-tulips
Summary: In America's mind: No one can complain quite like England... But England is keen to proove there are much more depressing nations out there


_A.N: Inspired by a family discussion about Norwegian and British culture... Sorry if they're a bit OOC_

* * *

"...and so I told him: this is not a proper cup of tea! And do you know what? That bloody idiot had the nerve to-"

America groaned inwardly and blocked out England's stupid rant of the day. All he had said was a perfectly innocent greeting – he didn't want England's whole tragic life story

"… Now I do think such behaviour is simply uncalled for. And I will tell you another thing: I hate today's youth."

"England…"

"They're nothing but trouble and…"

"England! Shut up!"

"They do-….I beg your' pardon?"

England gave America a shocked look – how rude of the young nation to interrupt him like that.

"Dude…all I asked was 'how are you?'…It's a damn greeting; you're not supposed to answer it with complaints!"

America threw his hands up in the air before slamming them down onto the table – successfully spilling some of England's tea on the table cloth. The elder nation gave him a death glare.

"I was no complaining, I was just telling you about my day…"

"No…old man, ya don't understand! All you do is complain! No other nation complains like you do!" America took a large gulp from his coke (That England had insisted had to be drank from a nice glass and not the can America had bought it in)

England raised and eyebrow at this statement.

"I complain the most?"

"Yeah you do! It's boring and depressing to listen too!"

England shook his head and gently chuckled

"You have never spoken to Norway then have you…?"

America blinked a few times…Norway? The antisocial and rather creepily silent Nordic nation? Why would America speak to him! As far as the younger nation was concerned – Norway was boring.

And besides…the Nordic nation made deals with Russia and Cuba…Commies! Norway was not to be trusted in America's eyes.

"Nah…why would I talk to him?" 'He's also older than you, old-man' he mentally added

"He complains all the time…"

America choked a bit on his coke.

"What? But the dude is like…filthy communist rich! And Denmark said Norway has these amazing houses and boats! How can he complain about anything!"

America couldn't get his head around the fact that there where actually people who complained more than England.

"Well…come around next week, you'll see what I mean"

England smiled knowingly – this could be fun.

* * *

America arrived much earlier than the time England had told Norway to come for.

He didn't know much about the Nordic male – he still had trouble finding the damn country on his map – but America knew one thing: the Nordic was always on time, if not a lot earlier.

Ten minutes before the agreed upon time, the doorbell rang. England got up form the couch and opened the door.

From the living room America could hear the two older nations exchange 'hello's before England politely invited Norway inside for something to eat and drink.

Norway stopped in the doorway when he saw America, but was quick to continue into the room and take a seat in one of England's worn but comfy upholstery chairs.

"Good day Amerika…." Norway's voice was as cold and emotionless as ever – America wondered how someone with so little emotion could complain as much as England claimed he did.

"Good day Norway! How are you?" America put on his best heroic smile and leant back in the sofa, just as England appeared with a tray of biscuits and 3 cups – two with coffee and one with tea.

Norway stretched and arm over to the coffee table and reached for his designated cup of coffee, somehow also managing to sneak a biscuit with him in the process.

"Horrible" came the deadpanned reply

America stared. That was not how one answered that question! (Unless Norway was referring to England's food…then the statement would make sense) You where supposed to say 'fine thanks, and how are you?'

Yet Norway did none of that. He sipped his coffee before opening his mouth to speak again.

"Denmark decided to come over a few days ago, and made such a mess of my house it's taken me days to clean it." Here was a hint on anger in his voice – America found it frightening, yet amusing at the same time. England nodded knowingly as he sipped his tea "I know how you feel" The Brit added with a wry smile.

America paid England's statement no mind. Selective hearing was fantastic.

"And now Russia is being an idiot and not doing what he should do…and the damn rain wont stop falling, so I've yet to get my boat re-painted. And the garden is a mess…"

America looked back and forth between Norway and England.

The two European males where discussing the terrible weather and complaining about ever little thing – from they terrible behaviour Denmark and France showed at the last meeting, to how those pesky back pains where really enough to make you feel like you where several millennia and not centuries old.

* * *

The little 'tea' party continued on for approximately two hours – by that time America felt utterly exhausted from all the complaining.

When they stood in the hallway saying goodbye America noticed rain had started to fall very heavily. "Uhh…shouldn't you take a taxi or something?" he asked – after all, he'd just sat through two hours of Norway and England complaining about how god damn horrible rain was.

Norway gave America at weird look

"There is no such thing as bad weather, only a bad choice of clothes" Norway zipped up a heavy waterproof coat and opened the door, stepping outside and letting the rain fall down on him, rivers ran down his hood and continued down the coat – making it seem like the Nordic nation was standing under a waterfall – not just a raincloud.

"Well, nice seeing you both… good day to both of you…"

And with that Norway left.

England closed the door and headed back to the living room – America following him closely.

"What the fuck was that all about? He's crazier than you!"

England gave him a questioning look "What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean! He's been complaining about rain all the time while sitting in here, but yet he seemed so happy to walk home in that awful weather! It doesn't make sense!"

America crossed his arms and huffed – he'd never understand these two older nations.

"Norway has a wonderful life, but is not the most optimistic of us…" England started clearing up the cups and saucers and carried it all back to the kitchen – America close on his heels.

"But why all the complaining?"

"I don't know…perhaps because to him, you should answer questions truthfully – and he's not the person to point out how well he's doing. He'd much rather make people focus on faults"

"That's stupid"

A small chuckle form England and the older nation turned around to face America

"Yes, it is perhaps rather silly – but he's just like that…don't dwell on it"

"Well...someone should cheer him up…"

"Good luck trying…but I hope you'll think twice before assuming I'm the nation who complains the most"

America muttered to himself and huffed – stupid England

"Yeah…you're not the most depressing nation…but I bet Norway is in such a foul mood because you keep giving him your food every time he's over here"

England's face went bright red in anger and chased America around the house with a frying pan for a good fifteen minutes.

* * *

_A.N_

_British people complain a lot...yet they're nowhere near as bad as Norwegians. As a Norwegian living in Scotland...one thing I quickly had to learn was that you SELDOM ever answer the question "How are you" truthfully...even if life is hell you still say "Fine thanks, and you?" It's odd but that's how it works - but in Norway it's much more common to be truthful and complain about quite a lot of things when someone asks you how you are. But despite our complaining, we live very well...often have well paid jobs and in general have very little to complain about._

_The little phrase Norway says to America about the weather is more or less my family motto. Doesn't matter what weather, my parents will still insist we go outside for fresh air XD_


End file.
